Wednesday, September 27, 2006

The Duck Is Dead

A woman goes into the vets with a duck under her arm. The vet lifts the ducks head and it flops back down. "This duck is dead," says the vet. "I do not believe it", says the woman. "I want another opinion."

The vet opens the door and in comes a black Labrador. The dog sniffs the duck and shakes its head.

"There I told you," says the vet. "The duck is dead."

"I want another opinion," says the woman.

The vet calls and in comes a Siamese cat. The cat sniffs the duck and shakes its head.

"There I told you," says the vet. "The duck is dead."

"OK," says the woman. "I accept your diagnosis. Please give me your bill." (not part of the joke)

The vet gives her a bill for $2500 and the woman exclaims, "But you only said the duck was dead!"

"Yes," said the vet. "But I had to base my expert opinion on a lab report and a cat scan and they are expensive."


From: latenights in lotusland

 

Monday, September 25, 2006

Margaret Cho, Last Kiss, and The Drive

Good weekend overall. I studied calculus, cleaned, and had lots of fun and sunshine. You think summer is officially over, but then you have a warm and sunny day like Sunday.

On Friday, Kelly and I went to see Margaret Cho at the Orpheum. I had only ever seen her stand-up comedy routines on DVD or video. I was so excited to see her live. We stopped at Doolin's Pub prior to the show for some drinks and eats.

Prior to Miss Cho taking the stage, the Gay Mafia from Los Angeles took the stage. MC Lisp and L Word took the stage and dropped dope rhymes about gay culture and lifestyle, including Take You Homo and Funky Fag Hag. They both were hilarious and got the crowd going.

Then Margaret Cho took the stage. She looked absolutely fabulous! She said she finally had accepted herself for who she was and what she looked like, and I guess the inner beauty finally came through.

Her comedy set was hilarious, as always. Plenty of jokes about all kinds of topics, including gay and lesbian culture, predjudice, ignorance, politics, US vs. Canada, pop culture, and personal stories. I love her mom impressions. We laughed non-stop.

After the show, we phoned up Omid; but he did not answer. We left a message stating we needed help and we could not find cake. We wanted to track him down to go for dessert. But I guess it was not in our destiny.

 

On Saturday, I got my hair trimmed up for Fasty & Gia's wedding. (Not the playa one, the Thanksgiving one.) Brandon flat-ironed it and it looked awesome. The red and caramel-blonde highlights really came back out. I purchased a flat-iron from a coworker, so I just have to start practicing myself.

I was so annoyed on Friday when I was heading downtown because I noticed a parking ticket on my windshield wiper. I went to Safeway after class Thursday night. I was exhausted and I ran across the street to Shopper's for hair product. Then I went to go to Safeway for cat litter. I guess the parking attendant was watching me and saw that I left the parking lot. He enforcer gave me a $50 parking ticket. That seems excessive and outrageous. I have to print out my bank statement and haggle Safeway management after work today to try and get it reduced or removed.

After studying for an hour, Poiboy called me up. We were going to see The Last Kiss with Zach Braff. The movie was great. Kind of an updated Swingers. The directing, editing and characters were wonderful. I thoroughly enjoyed the movie about a lead character going through a half-life crisis and his friends' relationships collapsing around him.

I spent the evening studying more and then I watched Serenity by Joss Whedon. I am a huge Buffy and Angel fan. I have not seen Firefly, which this movie is based on. The movie was great, full of action, thrilleresqueness, and science fiction. Good special effects, and enjoyable and entertaining overall. I am definitely going to check out the tv show.

 

The last day of the weekend, Sunday, was beautiful. The sun was shining and it was warm. I did some more homework and some cleaning. I met up with K8 and we went to Commercial Drive to so some window shopping. We stopped in at Havana for lunch. I had the usual chicken salad and she had the crab salad. The place was packed throughout and the staff is awesome.

We checked out a few shops including Banshee, Beckwoman's, Ten Thousand Villages, and Womyn's Ware. Gia dropped by to meet up with us and things just got better and better! We walked back up the other side and stopped at Grandview Park. There is a new waterpark there with beautiful painted flowers and bugs all over it.

We continued back towards 1st Avenue. We stopped for Red Orange Gelato (yum!). We ran into Howler at another Gelato store while waiting for BT to meet up with us. We stopped at the Red Burrito for bites. The food smelled great, but I was not hungry. We continued towards Trout Lake, but ended up calling it an afternoon. I chilled and read Irvine Welsh's book Ecstasy while cuddling a cat. Finished the evening off with Simpsons, Family Guy, and The War At Home.

Listening to: Green Day - Wake Me Up When September Ends

 

Wednesday, September 20, 2006

I Know That I Have Found Her

I Know That I Have Found Her

To proclaim that I love her
Is so easy to say
And for that, I will tell her
In my own special way

Through meaningful words
And the warmth of my touch
Through these nights of romance
She deserves o' so much

She's trapped in my heart
She's always on my mind
She gives me her love
Our hearts intertwine

For the woman I love
I have searched my whole life
But I know that I have found her
Because I made her my wife

- Jeff Kovich -

 

Wednesday, September 13, 2006

Bo Kong, Burlesque and Hollywoodland

Last weekend, I enjoyed a variety of social events and entertainment with a little bit of chores and relaxation. On Friday, Neil and Jennifer were passing through Vancouver to London on their way back from Burning Man. A large group of us went to Bo Kong Vegetarian on Main & 14th to say hello, goodbye. I had never been to Bo Kong before, but it is always nominated as one of the best vegetarian places in town. Luckily, a frequent patron ordered most of the dishes for two tables of people to share.

I heartily enjoyed delicious dishes of spring rolls, deep-fried soy milk, sizzling steak, orange chicken cutlets, an eggplant dish, and a shiitake mushroom dish. This was hands-down some of the best vegetarian food I have ever tasted. Also, the service was excellent. Bo Kong is a Buddhist Chinese vegetarian restaurant. It is usually a close runner-up in the Best Vegetarian category of best restaurants in Vancouver.

 

On Saturday, I reviewed Precalculus in preparation for Calculus next week. I ran some errands and did some chores. In the evening, I met up with M-Files at Tinsletown to watch Hollywoodland at Cinemark Theatres. The movie was fantastic. I used to doubt Ben Affleck's acting capabilities, but he was superb in this movie. The whole cast was fanastic, including Adrien Brody, Diane Lane and Bob Hoskins. A great drama and oscar contender.

After the movie, we went to the Lamplighter in Gastown for Chaz Royal's Burlesque Social Club. This was my first experience viewing Burlesque and I was completely blown away. All the girls were fantastic, classy and talented. The crowd became saturated after an hour, so there was less whistling, hooting and hollering. I really enjoyed Via Rose and Farrah. Champagne Sparkles was delightful too.

After two intermissions, we decided to leave the show and head down Granville Street towards Davie to get something to eat. I wanted poutine from Fritz European Fry House on Davie Street, but the lineup was long and we did not want to wait. So, we settled for pizza next door. The pizza was good and not like other ghetto pizza places. After snacks and people watching, we parted ways and I went home to bed just before 2 am.

Listening to: The Beatles - Hello Goodbye

 

Thursday, September 07, 2006

Thai Away Home

The other day, I was downtown running some errands. I went over to the West End to visit M_Files. She was washing the playa off her car. She lives in the same building as my cousin Kelly. It was great to see her and hear her tales from the playa. She expressed her amazement at the Belgian Waffle art structure. She said it was created by Belgians and it was burned at the end of the week. It was good to see her and briefly catch up. Hopefully, I will see her more often now that I have more dispoable time on my horizon.

On the way home, I stopped at Thai Away Home on Davie Street for delicious take-out. I ordered the Swimming Rama. They now service brown rice there and have many pre-made curries and sauces. I should try there pre-made take home frozen curries.

Finished the evening off eating my Thai food and watching Swimming Pool. An interesting movie about an English mystery authour who goes to France to work on her next book, only to unexpectedly share the house with her publisher's unusual French daughter.

 

Walked home from work and detoured to drop off some dresses to be dry cleaned. I have booked my flight for Fasty & Gia's wedding in Ontario next month. First time I will be flying Harmony Airlines. Miffed about not being able to bring water or juice on the flight. I like to stay hydrated. Worried the flight attendants will not come around often enough with fluids or I will have to pay $5 for a bottle of $0.18 tap water.

Walked up 4th Avenue and saw these cute Emk Clothing bags at Briers.

I bought my calculus text book and answer key. Both items were separate and together cost me just under $200. Sadly, I could not find a used set of books. Mind you, I should have started that task before the summer. An old classmate from precalculus is in my class; it is nice to see an old familiar face. I did start my review of precalculus (Chapter 1) today. Homework, *woo*. Listening to Ambient/Downtempo (Buddha Bar II and Alpha, and Deep Forest) does make it a bit more pleasant.

Listening to: Deep Forest - Sweet Lullaby

 

Wednesday, September 06, 2006

It's Not Easy Being Green

Apparently, I am Kermit the Frog.

You Are Kermit



Hi, ho! Lovable and friendly, you get along well with everyone you know.
You're a big thinker, and sometimes you over think life's problems.
Don't worry - everyone know's it's not easy being green.
Just remember, time's fun when you're having flies!

Tuesday, September 05, 2006

A la weekend

Had a nice relaxing labour day weekend. First time in years I stayed in town. On Saturday, I went downtown to run some errands and check out the store sales. I got some potential Xmas gifts on sale. In the evening, PoiBoy and I went to Drew and Erin's barbecue. They own a lovely house off Main Street. It is the kind of house I dream of owning myself some day. It had a beautiful back yard behind a three level, three bedroom house. The house had the master bedroom in a loft, hardwood floors, and a clawfoot bathtub.

Last week, I was missing everyone on the playa terribly. We briefly checked out the burn via web cam before going over to the Hollywood to watch Adam Sandler's movie Click. Christopher Walken was brillant (as always). The movie was actually quite fun and enjoyable--much more than I anticipated.

 

On Sunday, I went out to my dad's girlfriend to see my niece. We were suppose to go fishing with my cousins, but never actually made it happen. Instead, we drove around the countryside (Sardis) and bought some produce. I love Chilliwack peaches and cream corn! They were a great compliment to salmon for dinner. I read and played Legos with my niece.

We also watched Austin Powers and Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. Difficult to sleep in the valley because it is so warm at night. Everyone has fans going 24/7 and the repetitive hum kept me awake.

On Monday, I took my niece swimming at the Abbotsford Recreational Centre. We peered at the dark ice rink. It does not open for another month. I wonder if I can teach her how to ice skate. The Centre has a nice childrens pool area. The hot tub faces a plasma tv. After the pool, we played Snakes and Ladders with Kevin. Then we all went to White Spot for lunch. We finished off the afternoon with an hour at Centennial Park on Mill Road.

She was sad to part afterwards. She said, "Don't go to Vancouver." Kelly told her that we had to go back to work so we can make money to visit again. I have not seen her in about a month. I missed her sixth birthday when I went on holiday. I gave her belated birthday presents. Her own pink Holey Soles and a pink water bottle. There was also a Dora colouring book, an Emily Train, and a pink butterfly shirt from Banff. Hopefully, I can see her again in two weeks.

 

Started Calculus I today at Vancouver Community College. First class is difficult to get the flow going after taking four months off for summer. I will get into the swing of things. Not looking forward to math homework and mid-terms. I still have another term of it in spring to finish up first year. Did not get my other class, Organizational Behaviour, because I did not make it into Jasper on time to register. Langara gives you a designated date and time to register. My registration date was a day when I was in Jasper on holiday. I ran late that day, so I did not get into the class. I think next term will be easier because work is going to flex around my morning classes.

Listening to: Chantal Kreviazuk - Leaving On A Jetplane